Hey, how are you guys? I know I haven’t been updating or writing serious things on my website for a while. I’ve been wondering if my site is really that sincere: Am I using it to give the same polished-life vibe as on social media? Am I really sharing my thoughts instead of following the social norm – showing only the best of me? But right now, I just want to give you an honest update, because even if you’re the only one browsing here regularly, you deserve it.

2025 feels…weird? I’ve been traveling a lot with my husband, which has been wonderful, but not having a regular job hit me harder than I expected. It crept into my mind every time: If I don’t get a job soon, it becomes less and less likely I ever will. No career path established. Professional life over, right after graduation.

During this time, I thought a lot. Maybe the only way forward is not doing marketing – or at least not doing something I’m not built for.

I’ve realized I might not fit marketing. Not because I can’t do the work – I’m diligent and I deliver – but because the field rewards traits I don’t naturally have. Everyone in marketing tells me I should know how to make my resume look better, say beautiful things that exaggerate what really happened. I simply cannot. It feels dishonest. Every marketer I know is a natural extrovert. They bond with others easily, keep conversations fresh, and aren’t afraid of speaking up. I’m more of a listener. This doesn’t just limit my relationship building at work – it makes me less hireable. Add the language and cultural barrier on top of that, and standing out becomes nearly impossible.

There’s also a massive gap between marketing education and reality. Universities teach that marketing is holistic, from R&D to promotion. In industry, it’s mostly just promotion. They teach SWOT, PESTEL, 7Ps – none of which matter for junior to mid-level roles. They teach customer journey design when juniors never touch that, and Sales and Marketing barely talk to each other anyway. Students pursuing marketing should learn something technical and practical first. The strategic skills can come later. But this isn’t just marketing’s problem – look at how vaguely universities treat Generative AI compared to how widely it’s used in industry.

Here’s the real issue though: companies won’t invest in young talent anymore. They either lay off entire marketing teams and outsource to agencies that only hire people with hyper-specific experience, or they keep a skeleton crew where everyone must be an expert in everything. Neither scenario works for people starting out. And honestly? It’s not just marketing. All sorts of white-collar jobs are being impacted by AI, and the situation doesn’t seem much better elsewhere. It’s a challenge across the board.

I’d feel more comfortable somewhere less cutthroat, where social darwinism isn’t so dominant. Marketing should meet that requirement, and if I’d studied psychology from the beginning, maybe things would’ve worked out differently. But switching to research or behavioral health now means another decade of study, and the licenses aren’t even transferable.

So what now? People have been switching to coding in recent years, and I’m now one of them. As a Chinese person, it was difficult for me to accept that my chosen path didn’t work out. It’s rare in my culture to switch careers at an older age. But the one thing I’ve learned from US people is that if one path fails, you pursue something else – and it’s no big deal. So here I am. Maybe I made the right move? I can’t foresee the risks and consequences, but it’s another beginning and I’ll see how it turns out.

And for my website – I originally treated it as an extension of my résumé and LinkedIn, a showcase for potential recruiters. But the more time I spent on it, the more I realized that wasn’t fair to something I’ve put so much care into. People commented on things I made, words I chose, all to shape a positive, easy-going image for hiring managers. But what difference did it make? Employment is a mutual choice. I DO NOT want to work somewhere where my personality isn’t appreciated and where I need to constantly act. Let me just filter you out first.

So I’m going to remake some parts and sections. Don’t worry – I won’t delete most things, including the marketing blog articles. I’m thinking of writing about my life, hoping to help you if you’re going through the same struggles. I’m tempted to post recipes and cooking steps too, adding those to another section.

When I’m ready, I’ll make another site just for job searching – something more interactive but simple. Meanwhile, this site is just me:)

So much for now. Please stay tuned.